First two weeks = epic fail

Here's a run down of my proposed goals:

1. Eliminating junk out of the storage unit
I have the box of junk I want to go through with me at Eric's house, but I'm not sure why I didn't go through it. Maybe I need to clean my current space and stuff so I have somewhere to sort through the box. ??? Just waiting for the room available to put my new desk together to have a dumping ground.

2. I am going to commit to going to the gym at least three times a week for 1 hour, minimize my alcohol/naughty food consumption, and lose 10 pounds.
While on vacation, I ate ice cream every day. However, I did take every chance I had at hiking to get in a good hour long hike. I did opt for salads and smaller portion sizes on a couple of occassions. Alcohol consumption has been minimal (except for a long layover in SLC - the gal didn't give me a strange look when I asked if I could just buy the wine by the bottle).

3. Saving money
I am proud to say that I developed a very detailed strategy for saving money and paying down debt. I will give myself a much stricter allowance when I get paid, keep better track of my expenses instead of spending freely.

4. ECCO / CCRN
Again, an epic fail of my time management. While I was in IL I had planned on doing at least 2 hours a day on ECCO, instead, I researched used cars - A LOT.

5. Creativity
I did purchase a sewing book and previewed it before giving it to a very good friend and I was very excited by what I found inside! My said very good friend in turn gave me a pattern for a Marilyn Monroe inspired apron. It's definitely too cute!

6. Dancing
Eric and I went dancing last week. I still have the rest of the month to look into opening the DVD's.

7. Landri
I did take the dogs to the river today and Landri was actually pretty well behaved.

8. Fixing the bicycle
What did I do on Wednesday.... I think I slept in and missed the class, however, there will be another one.

Overall, I'm quite disappointed by my lack of ambition, but it seems like whenever I try to do something there are 10 different obstacles in my way that I need to take care of first. Since I'm always in a time crunch, this usually prohibits me from doing what I planned on in the first place.... it's a no win situation... maybe though, if I take care of the obstacles once, I'll either get better at that or they'll slowly not be obstacles anymore - they will cease to exist. Till next time, I'm grateful for: friends willing to pick me up, patience in dealing with other people, fans, and celery.

August Schedule

It seems a little full, but I truly work best when I have a lot of things on my plate.

uufta - It's been a long time.

Let me start by typing - it's been a while. Looks like my last post was Oct. 2010, at least I haven't let an entire year pass without writing. I'm blaming FB - it is so much easier to type in a short status on what I'm thinking than write an entire blog post. However, dear FB, you've caused millions of nice, sincere people to become -in short- fake. On the other hand, according to Spark People a good step to succeeding in your goals (particularly weight loss) is to go public with them. Which many FB users have done, and it's been inspiring whether it be building up to a person's first 5K or accomplishing the goal of running 1500 miles in a year!

In the past several months, I've realized there are probably hundreds of things I want and need to do. I'm truly eager to get started on all of my projects and see them through. So the first step I'm taking to accomplish my goals are to make them public. I'm relying on whoever out there is listening to hold me accountable. It's also fine if you don't since this is really for me and it's so much easier to type than write this crap down in a paper journal. Without further ado, here are this year's nominees for "Best goals to get accomplished" for the remainder of 2011 and on:

1. I am going to go through a box every other week from my storage unit and ultimately eliminate half of the stuff I own.

2. I am going to commit to going to the gym at least three times a week for 1 hour, minimize my alcohol/naughty food consumption, and lose 10 pounds.

3. I am going to evaluate purchases more intensely so I can ultimately save more money and not hinder the progress of goal #1. (At least I bought those Steve Madden Haylow heels before this goal - but I did wait two months to buy them and the price was reduced by 60%!)

4. Upon completion of the Essentials of Critical Care Orientation modules on HealthStream in October, I will study to take the CCRN in February. In doing this, this will ultimately help me save more money and the additional money I'll make from this certification will be directly deposited from my paychecks into a savings account at St.Pat's Credit Union.

5. I also resolve to dedicate more time to being creative and I am going to finish that handmade necklace I've been working on for the last 2 years. I am going to finish one project a month whether it be a tote bag or a set of earrings.

6. I am going to learn at least one dance move a month from a DVD set we bought in May that are still wrapped in shrink-wrap.

7. I will try to be more patient with Bad-Dog Landri as long as Eric takes her to dog classes.

8. Finally, I resolve to fix-up an old bike I've had in my possession for the last year. I would like to take it to Free Cycle at least once a month for at least an hour until it is finally rideable.

Spark People also recommends you make steps to achieve your goals so I am also going to publish a month's schedule on how I'm going to accomplish said goals. I am also going to post my progress on here at least once a week. So, here's some progress I've already made: even though I'll have to start paying rent, I will now have a space - to call my own - for a desk and what-have you.

Hormonal Driven Anxiety

I think I could handle all that goes along with being a woman if I didn't have the rollercoaster mood changes caused by hormone fluctuations. The sane part of me knows that I feel these ridiculous moods because of the hormones but then the crazy hormonal part thinks the sky is falling! I just need to breathe and know it will be over soon and fuck it all. Seriously.

The birds are singing

Over the past several weeks, I have felt as if I've been glowing with a giant permagrin. I finally had a revelation that my friends, bless their hearts, had seen something I had not, and they gratefully told me about it and I brushed it off as if it had been nothing. That I was FINE. As I kept telling myself I was, but they could see I wasn't. And now, I feel the change. I feel it every day - even at work, and it is amazing how this simple thing can make me so happy on both the inside and outside.

I am keeping my mind open to the fact that it can change, but right now, I'm going to enjoy what I have. And I hope I don't forget how to find this place - even without someone else. I can easily see the beauty and joy in simple things. Now I see why they call it a 'bug', once you catch it, it is with you for a while and affects all aspects of your life. :D

My thoughts on this past work week - ugh.

What am I doing with my life? I have had a couple shitty days at work, and they make me wonder what I should be doing that would truly be best for my career. I would never make it without the support and guidance of my amazing co-workers. They listen and offer true bits of wisdom. I don't understand how I can have amazing patients one day who tell me how much they appreciate me taking a couple minutes out of my day to chit chat with them, and then others scream out "I can't believe how you treat people!" I'm also appalled at my inability to be patient with all of my patients.

New Day

Not sure what day this is in the count.

I am grateful for masseurs. (Enough said.)

I am grateful for chefs.

I am grateful for sharp knives and the new skills to make knives sharper.

I am grateful for simple but refreshing chats with friends.

I am grateful for local bakeries who have perfected the art of bread making.

I am grateful for dedicated coworkers and charge nurses.

March 8, 2010

I am grateful for the smell of spring air.

I am grateful for plastic "money" I use at work.

I am grateful for sweet 80ish year old women and men who remind you of your grandparents and make you want to do everything right by them.

I am grateful for being able to recognize what stresses me so I can fix it.

I am grateful for TUMS.

I can't believe I forgot my blog's birthday!!

Blog is four years old... geesh!!


Blogger Graphics

Did you know? You have the power to choose your attitude.

For tonight, I was having a wide range of emotions for how I was going to create my post. A stressful event happened at work, and it left me and my sensitive feelers in a spastic frenzy. One second I'm irate, the other I'm feel as if I've been stomped on by an evil monster who is wearing 1 inch track spikes (aka hurt), not to mention the emotions of embarrassment, guilt, and vengeance were all lurking around. For this post, I thought I would be snide and say all of the evil things floating in my head about this other person that I'm not. However, that doesn't fit very well with the attitude I want to have. So, instead of being snide, I'm going to be proud of the good characteristics I do possess somewhere inside my trampled body.

I am grateful that I have empathy for people who's lives impact mine.

I am grateful for being able to remain calm in even the most stressful situations.

I am grateful that I am learning how to more easily admit my mistakes and listen when I am wrong.

I am grateful for everyday experiences that seem so insignificant at the time, but those repeating experiences over time morph into a beautiful synergistic energy we can use to help us through the major pitfalls.

I am always grateful for the listening ears of friends who truly care.

No Excuse This Time

Day 6 3-2-10
I am grateful for sunny and bluebird 50 degree days in February.

I am grateful for lattice and the ambition to create something from relatively nothing.

I am grateful for seemingly unrealisticly large bags of frozen blueberries from Costco - they help make great tasting smoothies!

I am grateful for the courage of others to research information and present this information to many people through different medias to help solve a national problem.

I am grateful for good friends to have subtle but meaningful debates with over delicious beverages.

Starting a new project is difficult while on vacation

Day 3 2-21-10
I am grateful for good music to ease driving.

I am grateful for caffeine.

I am grateful for blue skies.

Day 4 2-22-10
I am grateful for phone cameras and messaging so I can stay in touch better with my mom.

I am grateful for remote ski areas with feet of snow.

I am grateful for being able to give Santo the opportunity to leap through said feet of snow.

Day 5 2-23-10
I am grateful for mechanics that run a diagnostic check free of charge since we've already spent $1000+ there.

I am grateful for the courage to try a restaurant even though it wasn't what I initially wanted to eat; the experience ended up being much better than I could have gotten at the chain restaurant.

I am grateful for the patience to watch professional pool players playing at their best just feet away from me.

I am grateful to the professional pool players for reigniting my passion to play pool.

I am grateful for canned dog food that my emaciated pup eats so he doesn't get any skinnier.


Thorsten Hohmann


Shane Van Boening

Day 2

I am grateful for big puppy paws.

I am grateful for puppy bath wipes.

I am grateful for good friends who help me learn how to knit.

I am grateful for blue skies and getting to see the sun shining on snowcapped mountains.

I am grateful for cozy yarn shops open in small towns (Camas Creek Yarn in Kalispell, MT).

New Series

In the spirit of Lent, even though I am not Roman Catholic, I'm going to give up negativity and focus on the positive parts of my life and my interactions with others. So, in order for me to feel accountable to keep this up, I am putting my gratitude journal online, here, on my already created, but seldomly used blog.

I am grateful for forgiving friends that give guidance while remaining honest even though it may not be easy for them.

I am grateful for sweet puppy love (literally).

I am grateful for the soft and light feeling of my down comforter.

I am grateful for the delicious bakery genius of Wheat Montana's cream cheese cinnamon rolls.

I am grateful for DVR service so I can multitask with more efficiency.

The Fountain of Youth (or the perception thereof)

In my short experience of being a real nurse, it seems that the "fountain of youth" lies in your attitude towards life and how you deal with stress. The personalities of the 90 year old's I have met amazes me at my "quarter of a century" mark. Granted, there are quirks with many different people, and this is not where I will discuss my views on death and those who die. I write to detail the personality quirks I have noticed.

My great grandma is 97. Even though I have known her all of my life, the first real memory I have of her is at my grandpa's wake. Many family members were at her house (she was 80 and was still living by herself and to this day still is), pictures of my jovial and loving grandpa were around her house. The one picture I remember most was when my grandpa was 10ish, and he had moderately long curly hair - he even had a pronounced curl that curled on his forehead. I think I remember it the most because my mom always told me stories of how when my grandpa was a young boy he never wanted to cut his hair - stories her grandma (my great grandma) had told her as a child.

My great grandma is the one of the most loving, most forgiving, and most laid back members of my family. She has experienced tremendous loss but still finds strength to persevere with a smile. It is this quality that I think helps you live until you're 100 with your wits about you. ALL of the 90-some year olds I have experienced working with in the hospital are incredibly "with it". (They also appear remarkably young for their age!).

Essentially, what do you do with your stress? Do you deal with it productively? or do you dwell? I'm sure all of the patients I've dealt with in their older age have experienced traumatic events, the difference is how they deal with those events and every day events.

(They also probably don't eat at McD's everday...)