I'm overwhelmed by feelings of fear. I don't want to do certain things because I'm too scared. But, it is a different kind of scared.
For instance, I'm scared that no matter how well I'm trained and able to do my job, something will still go wrong, and I'll hurt someone and I'll be sued. That's all it is. I was looking into NICU jobs, but then I got too scared to want to go into that field because of the high rate of malpractice suits. Then I was thinking adult critical care, and I was frightened again. Ped's-no. Oncology-no. ER-I have no idea. Maybe I should just go and pass meds in a nursing home.
I don't know what to do except wait patiently for this uncomfortable feeling to pass, and keep on doing the best I can at building a strong base of knowledge and understanding. For now, I'll just wait for my stomach to untie these awful knots it wrapped itself in.
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