Me

I don't like who I am. My less than ideal personality quirks have made things - life - more difficult. The latest confrontation I had about me made me feel so awful. Why do I do this? Why don't I do that? More often than not it seems that I could be more ideal if I just shut-up and didn't say anything to anyone. I have gotten better at moderating my comments and anything that comes out of my mouth, but I still am less than ideal. (I'm refraining from the word "perfect" because I am realistic.) 

When I was younger (throughout grade/middle/high school) I wanted to be other people because it seemed like they had everything - the nice clothes, caring parents, lots of friends. Now, I wish I had other people's personality traits. (On a positive note, I'm grateful because I recognize traits that I'm glad that I don't have.) It seems to me that if I were less of a "know-it-all" and more of a _____ (I don't even know what it is trait these people have), my life would be easier. How do I do this? How do I become a better person? I am trying but what if there's a key part that I'm missing because I can't see it and others can? Oh and on top of this - I don't want to be a nurse this week. Hopefully next week my perspective will change.