Saturday, October 16, 2010

Hormonal Driven Anxiety

I think I could handle all that goes along with being a woman if I didn't have the rollercoaster mood changes caused by hormone fluctuations. The sane part of me knows that I feel these ridiculous moods because of the hormones but then the crazy hormonal part thinks the sky is falling! I just need to breathe and know it will be over soon and fuck it all. Seriously.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

The birds are singing

Over the past several weeks, I have felt as if I've been glowing with a giant permagrin. I finally had a revelation that my friends, bless their hearts, had seen something I had not, and they gratefully told me about it and I brushed it off as if it had been nothing. That I was FINE. As I kept telling myself I was, but they could see I wasn't. And now, I feel the change. I feel it every day - even at work, and it is amazing how this simple thing can make me so happy on both the inside and outside.

I am keeping my mind open to the fact that it can change, but right now, I'm going to enjoy what I have. And I hope I don't forget how to find this place - even without someone else. I can easily see the beauty and joy in simple things. Now I see why they call it a 'bug', once you catch it, it is with you for a while and affects all aspects of your life. :D

Sunday, July 11, 2010

My thoughts on this past work week - ugh.

What am I doing with my life? I have had a couple shitty days at work, and they make me wonder what I should be doing that would truly be best for my career. I would never make it without the support and guidance of my amazing co-workers. They listen and offer true bits of wisdom. I don't understand how I can have amazing patients one day who tell me how much they appreciate me taking a couple minutes out of my day to chit chat with them, and then others scream out "I can't believe how you treat people!" I'm also appalled at my inability to be patient with all of my patients.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

New Day

Not sure what day this is in the count.

I am grateful for masseurs. (Enough said.)

I am grateful for chefs.

I am grateful for sharp knives and the new skills to make knives sharper.

I am grateful for simple but refreshing chats with friends.

I am grateful for local bakeries who have perfected the art of bread making.

I am grateful for dedicated coworkers and charge nurses.

Monday, March 08, 2010

March 8, 2010

I am grateful for the smell of spring air.

I am grateful for plastic "money" I use at work.

I am grateful for sweet 80ish year old women and men who remind you of your grandparents and make you want to do everything right by them.

I am grateful for being able to recognize what stresses me so I can fix it.

I am grateful for TUMS.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

I can't believe I forgot my blog's birthday!!

Blog is four years old... geesh!!

Blogger Graphics
Blogger Graphics

Did you know? You have the power to choose your attitude.

For tonight, I was having a wide range of emotions for how I was going to create my post. A stressful event happened at work, and it left me and my sensitive feelers in a spastic frenzy. One second I'm irate, the other I'm feel as if I've been stomped on by an evil monster who is wearing 1 inch track spikes (aka hurt), not to mention the emotions of embarrassment, guilt, and vengeance were all lurking around. For this post, I thought I would be snide and say all of the evil things floating in my head about this other person that I'm not. However, that doesn't fit very well with the attitude I want to have. So, instead of being snide, I'm going to be proud of the good characteristics I do possess somewhere inside my trampled body.

I am grateful that I have empathy for people who's lives impact mine.

I am grateful for being able to remain calm in even the most stressful situations.

I am grateful that I am learning how to more easily admit my mistakes and listen when I am wrong.

I am grateful for everyday experiences that seem so insignificant at the time, but those repeating experiences over time morph into a beautiful synergistic energy we can use to help us through the major pitfalls.

I am always grateful for the listening ears of friends who truly care.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

No Excuse This Time

Day 6 3-2-10
I am grateful for sunny and bluebird 50 degree days in February.

I am grateful for lattice and the ambition to create something from relatively nothing.

I am grateful for seemingly unrealisticly large bags of frozen blueberries from Costco - they help make great tasting smoothies!

I am grateful for the courage of others to research information and present this information to many people through different medias to help solve a national problem.

I am grateful for good friends to have subtle but meaningful debates with over delicious beverages.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Starting a new project is difficult while on vacation

Day 3 2-21-10
I am grateful for good music to ease driving.

I am grateful for caffeine.

I am grateful for blue skies.

Day 4 2-22-10
I am grateful for phone cameras and messaging so I can stay in touch better with my mom.

I am grateful for remote ski areas with feet of snow.

I am grateful for being able to give Santo the opportunity to leap through said feet of snow.

Day 5 2-23-10
I am grateful for mechanics that run a diagnostic check free of charge since we've already spent $1000+ there.

I am grateful for the courage to try a restaurant even though it wasn't what I initially wanted to eat; the experience ended up being much better than I could have gotten at the chain restaurant.

I am grateful for the patience to watch professional pool players playing at their best just feet away from me.

I am grateful to the professional pool players for reigniting my passion to play pool.

I am grateful for canned dog food that my emaciated pup eats so he doesn't get any skinnier.

Thorsten Hohmann

Shane Van Boening

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Day 2

I am grateful for big puppy paws.

I am grateful for puppy bath wipes.

I am grateful for good friends who help me learn how to knit.

I am grateful for blue skies and getting to see the sun shining on snowcapped mountains.

I am grateful for cozy yarn shops open in small towns (Camas Creek Yarn in Kalispell, MT).

Friday, February 19, 2010

New Series

In the spirit of Lent, even though I am not Roman Catholic, I'm going to give up negativity and focus on the positive parts of my life and my interactions with others. So, in order for me to feel accountable to keep this up, I am putting my gratitude journal online, here, on my already created, but seldomly used blog.

I am grateful for forgiving friends that give guidance while remaining honest even though it may not be easy for them.

I am grateful for sweet puppy love (literally).

I am grateful for the soft and light feeling of my down comforter.

I am grateful for the delicious bakery genius of Wheat Montana's cream cheese cinnamon rolls.

I am grateful for DVR service so I can multitask with more efficiency.