contentment vs. disappointment vs. frustration

I've been debating the differences between these words lately and how they each relate to my life. Am I just content? Is it disappointment? Maybe I'm just frustrated by the unknown.... more to come later...

Nothing is more disappointing

... than a dirty bathroom. My critique of bathrooms started when I was in about the third grade and I hated using a certain bathroom at a well known big box store. I hated it because it was disgusting. It always smelled of cigarette smoke or a stuffy combination of fake flowers and cigarette smoke. It was never clean, and it was always dark and dingy. 

Nate and I had dinner at a well known chain restaurant. A typical plate at this place costs anywhere from $15 - $26. I used the restroom, and it made me completely disappointed with the place. The bathroom was poorly laid out, had strange smell, had a dark, dingy look, and dealing with the faucets was a nightmare! Nothing can ruin a first impression faster than a dirty bathroom. It is one thing if you're a busy nursing student with a part-time job and you only get around to cleaning the bathroom every other week. But a nationally known chain restaurant (and I'm not talking about a fast food restaurant- one expects their bathrooms to be disgusting) should have clean bathrooms. (Not to mention, if you follow a particular "theme", why would you not include it in your bathrooms). I guess what really makes me upset about this is that a dirty bathroom makes one wonder what else is dirty that the paying customer doesn't see in a restaurant. 

My lifeline, my connection, my love

I love the internet. While some people say that it creates more hassle for them, for me, it is my lifeline. It helps to connect me to the world, and I love experiencing that connection. When the connection is good, it brings me even more joy. I can multitask like no one's business! I can have five tabs running and I stay on top of each one. However, when it is slow or even nonfunctioning, it makes me so frustrated. I guess I can't be that upset though because it is a free connection. But if that is one of the reasons why you attract people to your business, and it is then unreliable? I'm sorry. I was just a little frustrated because I needed to submit an assignment by a certain time and the internet was on the fritz. That is why we are getting our very own connection at the house sometime soon. Therefore, I will be able to keep up to date on here! See, you benefit from being connected too!

Expectations

I wrote this one night in Minnesota.

I’ve definitely begun to have really low expectations of people. I do this because if they don’t meet the higher ones I’ve set for them, I can’t be as disappointed. For instance if someone says that they would like to spend time with you, but consistently makes up pathetic excuses as to why they can’t, if you expect them to ditch you, you won’t be as upset when they go back on their word. However, maybe this behavior is only worsening the situation because they learn that there will be no “penalties” if they don’t follow through on what they say. On the other hand, punishment shouldn’t be a factor in why they follow through. They should do it because they want to.

I have found myself on the other side of this argument many times (especially while being in Minnesota). Promising to call when I know I won’t get around to it; screening a phone call because I don’t want to talk to the person (honestly doesn’t happen that much); and wishing sometimes I could really get into a conversation with a person but I know that in the two minutes that I have before we run out of small talk I’m still considered an outsider (even if I knew the person since 6th grade or even Kindergarten). Maybe I come off as not being genuinely interested, maybe they feel they don’t have enough time, maybe they are only on their way to getting more drunk and I’m really not worth their time.

Even though, I have learned from being on the other side of the fence that most of the time I have flaked out on people I usually end up wishing I would have spent more time with them than wasting it on trying to think of pathetic excuses. The good thing is people are around. With current technology people can be contacted at any time through any medium. I could send an email to their phone or a text message to their email. I still prefer the old fashioned snail mail, though.

I’m not sure how this has evolved from me being upset with people and their actions to me being upset with myself over the same actions. But maybe since I can see it from both sides, I won’t be such a flake and people won’t set low expectations for me, when in actuality I’m really just setting low expectations of myself.

As crazy as this may seem...

Did you know that some people actually go to school to get an education? They DON'T party and get drunk every night, day, hour. Absolutely amazing, I know. Well, I am one of those "people." Hard to believe, I know, but please trust me. This also means that when I have to get up at 5, I would like to go to bed around 9 or so. However, it becomes *difficult* when the person downstairs has their music cranked so loud it is making my stuff shake.

According to my landlord this guy teaches at the U of Mt. I think he even teaches one of the boring Geology classes. Anyways, I'm sure he expects his students to be a.)respectful in class, b.)get their homework done, and c.)come to class prepared especially by being AWAKE and alert. WTF? Just a short rant.

So, basically I laid the smack down at 2200 and told him that I have to be IN CLASS by 6, so turn it down.

The rest of the night was undisturbed, and I slept relatively well. This was also the second time I've had to ask him to be courteous. My neighbor next door continues to play his music loudly during the day, but I'm not here that often, and he keeps it at more respectable levels (most of the time). I just hate having to be people's mom. How dumb do you have to be to realize that your annoyingly loud music is probably being intrusive on someone else's peace, though?