Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Yeah, yeah, I know you are right...for once

I had a moment of enlightenment last week, but this week it is compounded by thoughts of disgust/contempt. If this post does anything constructive it will only be to prove my boyfriend right in an argument we had about each other's weaknesses.

Well, you were right, being overly quick to be defensive is not a trait I would like to possess. I had two instances where I found this is not who I want to be. The first was my own ruthless defensiveness that most likely upset a friend. I'm not entirely sure what brought this on, maybe contagious anxiety, but I found myself quick to snap. I felt like a major shit afterwards. Why do I do this? The other instance was with someone who for no reason, with nothing personal at stake, does this to me all the time I interact with them. It has made me dislike them in and for ways I can't completely comprehend. They don't even let me explain, and they are like **snap** on my case...EVEN WHEN I'M NOT TRYING TO ARGUE!! I guess I had no where else to go with this frustration, so it goes on here.

Nate, I hope I'm doing a better job at not being like this. To the person I was short with, I am sorry. To the person who is short with me. I might excuse you just because I know that you probably don't know you're like I didn't to fully give in to it. It still doesn't mean that I'm going to ignore this horrible trait. (I know I made critical singular/plural grammar mistakes, but I thought it was necessary.)

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