Thursday, January 05, 2006

"Letter to John" - Ani

Dear John,

If distance were no obstacle, would you long to hold me in your arms? Would you brush back my hair to whisper sweet nothings in my ear? Would you let me caress every inch of your incredibly soft skin? Would you wish me in your life?

All I want is to tell you how I feel for you. Because what if you feel the same? If I never told you, this opportunity would pass. I would much rather tell you my feelings and have you completely reject me than live with that ache of constant wondering. They say it is best to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

This is the difficult part...I've also heard that if the guy doesn't make the first couple moves, he's not that into you. I'm hoping you're the exception to this rule. Damn it, John, I don't want to be your friend. I want to feel your arms holding me in a loving embrace.

Last time we saw each other, you honestly surprised me. You flattered me, actually. Maybe I took your actions (or lack there of) the wrong way. I don't really think so. You seem to have changed so much, maybe not necessarily changed, but you have grown. Now, you amaze me. You aren’t afraid of anything. You pay attention to the little details. You are so intelligent. You make me laugh with such ease. And, you showed me a sneak peak at how you can be spontaneously romantic.

Distance is a conquerable obstacle. It is possible and pretty easy. Although, I will not budge until I know how you feel. I know if this doesn’t work out everything will be fine. I will search for a guy similar to you but will find someon better in ways I’ve never imagined. If this is the case, I want to thank you. Thank you for showing me that truly great guys do exist. Thank you for inadvertently teaching me not to settle, and also not to set my expectations too high that they just end up disappointing me. Thanks John, for everything.



Anonymous said...

this is a great letter did you write it? who is it too? why did you publish it?

bearfeet said...

Yes, I did write this. I wrote and published it in hopes that I would be able to work up enough courage to actually send it to the person who is meant to read it. I think that if I can share my deepest feelings for somebody with random people, I should be able to tell those that I care about most. It is just that I have nothing to lose in relationships with people I don't know. I can't say who it is for. Hopefully, he would know.

Anonymous said...

if this is how you really feel you should send, what is holding you back girl?

bearfeet said...

I am scared to lose even the friendship that we have together. .... (I tried to think of another 'valid' excuse but all of them are just that, excuses.) Simply put, I am scared. I am really a wimp in this aspect. I also wonder if he did feel the same, why wouldn't he tell me?

Andrea W. said...

I was reading new year's resolutions and came across your site. It is well done, this particular one caught my eye because I wanted to read the posts for it. It got me to thinking about my own relationship. I wish my boyfriend would write something like this for me. Have you let this person know how you feel? Take care and good luck.