Midterms WERE when?!

I guess this milestone has already passed. I can't really believe it, but I am very excited at the same time. There are a lot of pool tournaments coming up for November that I'm going to play in. One is Nov 3,4,5 it is the MT Billiards Congress of America (BCA) State Tournament. Last year at this tourney, there was a lot of drama. This year is going to be a lot better. And, I'm going to play a lot better. Last year I went 1-2. I keep having these illusions of grandeur and I think I will finally step it up, but I must be putting too much pressure on myself because I never follow through.

The other one I'm going to play in is a Women's doubles tourney on Nov 11. I'm pretty ble to do this class, anexcited about this one, too. The girl I'm playing with is a lot of fun, and she is a great shot.

Finally, the last one is going to be a huge tourney the weekend after Thanksgiving. People will come from all over (Canada, Salt Lake, Washington) to play in it. My only goal for this tourney is to practice, practice, and practice some more for it. Which could prove to be a little difficult considering I have a test or major paper due every week from here on out.

I should be doing a little bit better with school, though, because I dropped my sign language class. (It isn't completely official, yet, I still need my instructor's signature.) I feel like a big piece; I've never dropped a class before. It is lame. I should be ad I could if I dropped everything else in my life. But is that life? Aren't I supposed to want to enjoy the moment with some but not too many other obligations? I think I was stressing about it because I want to get good grades for graduate school, and now I can feel less guilty about spending the time that I need to on those classes and neglecting that one. Well, speaking of that I should get back to studying.

"I go a walkin' after midnight..."

Whoa, no posts for August, I am a slacker. Here is a run down of my final days of freedom (from school). I worked until the 11th of August. After that, I began walking more dogs at the shelter, which was very enjoyable. It is amazing to see the amount of joy I can bring to a pup just by taking it for a walk. It, like most owned dogs, will probably only get out once a week, but that one time means everything to it. It doesn't care about its shitty life inside of a sweltering outdoor pen as long as it can get out, if even just once a week. Ah! There's so many smells, so many sights, so many places to pee, and so little time to do everything before the walker has to bring the dog back. I walked this super sweet golden retriever, Annie. She was my favorite. She just wanted to be pet and loved on, and that was it. She would sit in her cage, leaning against the door, waiting for anyone to come by and give her a couple loving scratches. Her previous owners gave her up because she was timid (probably from mistreatment), and went through a plate glass door during a thunderstorm. Once she was out of the kennel, though, she was courageous, full of life, and very well mannered. After several months at the shelter she was finally adopted, she's not back yet, so that's a good sign. Another favorite is Bart, a 2 yr old black Lab. He is nuts when you first get him going! He just wants to go go go go go go. Therefore, we go for really long walks, to settle all of his crazy energy. Since school started, I haven't been able to go that often because it is really demanding this year.

I'll get more on that later, because I'm going to bed for the night.

Snow in summer

I have been waiting to post these pictures... for what, I have no clue, spare time maybe? The first is a cacti pot that I potted for my dad for his birthday. The next are pictures of a major pollen storm. The night we got back from Las Vegas this stuff was all over the yard and I couldn't tell if it was snow because it was so white and thick. I was wearing sandals and was nervous to step on it. I found this in the morning. Pretty interesting.










This last picture is one of my sister and niece, Shiori. I can't believe the luck of this picture. I had been taking a lot, and this is by far the best one.

First day of summer!

... but where did June go? I have taken a couple 'quizzes' online for fun this one says what 'cliquue' i belonged to in high school. About the omputer nerd thing, journalism work was mostly done on computers, either fixing pictures, doing layouts, writing text, finding (more like being shown) all kinds of different dorky things on the internet (strong man and 'big boys' {they both sound like corny porns to me}). The punk thing I didn't really understand, I would have said stoner or rocker instead of a punker. I guess having moshed and liking mohawks gives you a certain image that isn't what I had in mind. (Actually I don't really like mohawks, but the choice was either you hate em, you love 'em or are in the middle some where. I personally think they are an attention seeking device but this is a girl who died her hair hot pink for a concert once. That was fun...)

Speaking of concerts (being as it is the season!), I'm going to tell a story. Emily, Wes, and I were going to go to X-Fest 2002 in Somerset. Emily wanted me to do her hair up in yarn braids (the very first and last time I ever did it), so we started around........... midnight... maybe it was the middle of the day, I can't really remember, anyways, we started them on Thursday partied throughout the night at Wes's parents house, (continuing to braid) and all throughout the day on Friday. Emily was getting so upset because it was taking so long, and it probably hurt really bad, and she wouldn't let me stop. But she wanted them to look good, and they were kind of long. So, I had been braiding for at least 12 hours; we got to Somerset in the late afternoon and we were still going at it, Wes snapped a picture of us after we snuck into the campgrounds and settled in with some Keystones. (Don't ask me how two girls one with bright blue yarn hair can sneek into the 'campground' at Floatrite...) But this picture so accurately described the mood... I was sitting on the top of the picnic table Emily right below me, she has the sourest look on her face, more like a pout, beer in hand, and I was gleaming right above her. I can't believe I was able to keep my cool with her for so long, it was probably because we had drank so much and that we were finally there, going to listen to some fucking awesome bands. Once we finally finished her hair, on the way over to the amphitheater, we ran into Lagon from Sevendust and got our picture taken with him and he commented on Emily's hair. It was pretty sweet.

After the show, Emily and I were partying with the other guys at the campsite and whoever wandered through. Wes was pissed off about this because we rode down with him and he wanted us to go to be, but we didn't want to, we came there to party and have fun. So, we said fuck it and let him be pissed off, and he was threatening to leave in the morning, and we kind of thought that he was joking, but no, he was telling the truth. So, Saturday morning rolled around Wes took off, left us there with a bunch of guys we had just really met, but that option was definitely more appealling than wasting a 60 dollar ticket and going home.

more to come later.

You scored as Geek/Nerd. Haha! ok. go computer geeks!

Punk		60%
Geek/Nerd		60%
Loner		53%
Emo Kid		33%
Hot		33%
Jock		27%
Prep		27%
Stoner		27%
Goth		20%
"Ghetto"		7%

What Highschool Clique Do You Belong To?
created with QuizFarm.com

BCA Championships

Well, there she is, Jasmine Ouschan, (pronounced ocean). She played really well, and obviously was rewarded for her efforts. She had an awesome break, but missed maybe two safeties against Allison which cost her two games, but A.F. also made only a couple mistakes, and Jasmine used them to her advantage. I think she is going to stay in the BCA league and prosper for quite a while. I guess she is pretty famous around the world except the USA. If you are interested (and you should be!), you can watch the final game on ESPN on July 16 Enjoypool.com has more information.



This is Allison Fisher. Still one of my favorites even though she lost.


In other pool information, my uncle's team placed second in the Men's Open Team Division in Las Vegas. A major feat, considering there were many teams... I'm not sure of the exact number.

Catching up

I have a lot of stuff I want to write about. My trip to vegas; seeing my sister's new baby, watching the Ice Princess squash the Duchess of Doom, only getting carded once, the crown vic, and anything else that I can think of... the stay in Billings for hours. I am going to try and make this and a story about the awesome run-off falls into more of a photo journalistic piece. Although, I don't have any picts of the ice princess, but i suppose i can find some. She is beautiful, and she is a beautiful player. Absolutely amazing, actually! That's it for now, I'm waiting to go into work, it is freezing cold at big sky and there is no way I'm going to have anything to do until it warms up. Heck, I probably won't even then, but I'lll still be making money. I have tomorrow off, hopefully I can get my stories posted then.

How much is too much?

This question seems to be the most difficult for Americans in a wide variety of applications. But what about schooling? I came down from my University of San Diego inspired cloud nine to check out the tuition/fees. Tuition alone is 1000 per credit. PER CREDIT! With a required 42 credits that um equals...... about 42,000! Just for tuition. But, I still want to go there. I really want a change of climate. I'm kind of getting sick of the cold. I've been in it for a mere 20 years. But is Forty-Two Thousand Dollars too much to pay for schooling? I figure I'll have around that much just from school here at MSU. But, once I'm done with school with a Master Practioner's License, I hope that I could afford that. And, in relation to some other schools that I am considering, it is pretty comprable. For instance, Hawai'i is 520/credit, but the cost of living would most likely make up for the difference. I don't want to go to Oregon, and Flagstaff, AZ doesn't have the program that I want to take, neither does San Diego State University.

So, how much is too much for a dream?

There I was...

...answering a question on Yahoo! Answers about the best date I had that was outdoors. And now I don't want to forget it, I don't think I ever would, but still. It was a beautiful summer day and I rode with a friend on their motorcycle to Lake Superior. (As a side note I used to ride with him quite a bit, sometimes late at night, and I would fall asleep. No joke. Scares the crap out of me now to think that I did that.) Anyways, we went somewhere next to Grand Marais and climbed up a cliff on the side of the road overlooking the lake. There was a rest stop next to the road, but it was in such a bad location that you can't really see anything besides a small beach. From the top of the cliff the view was amazing. You could probably see the Apostle Islands on a super clear day with good vision from up there.

That night was also amazing. We found an abandoned shack on Lake Superior and set up camp. I ended up going out and sitting on the lake for a long time getting mentally caught up in the waves and stars. It was weird, if you stared at the waves long enough it seemed to look like you were moving on the rocks into the waves and not the waves into the rocks. (I promise I was not on drugs.) The stars were also amazing, there were so many and it was so clear. Even though the moon was out, you could still see pretty well. I have a lot of good memories of the North Shore, Duluth, concerts in Somerset, getting stuck there and not caring, and of course concerts in the Twin Cities. Man compared to my life back then, it is boring now. And who's fault is that? Montana's. Nah, I'm just down and out right now, but I don't do anything like I used to. Heck I hardly ever even go out and drink. Most likely because I don't have a lot of extra cash, and drinking isn't that fun anyways, you feel like crap afterwards, not to mention all of the legalities that are associated with it. Maybe I just need to find a good outdoor concert and go.

I guess when Tony was out here we roamed around little. We would find random trails that go up into the woods and we would take a ton of road trips. I think I'll write about my trip to Somerset with Emily and Wes that ended up really funky next. I have to do some homework, though.

School, isn't the point to want to get out?

I have recently been intrigued by a profession that lies not too far from my current track of study. Problem is I want to do both. I know I have the time and drive to do both, but who continually wants to stay in school? When I visualize my future all I see are textbooks, libraries, cheap capaccinos from the corner mini-mart (now the Loaf-n-Jug), financial debt, and always learning something. But I'm okay with this! As odd as I may be, right now I'm not burned from school, and I like it. I like learning new things, and I love when I can take those things I've learned and apply them to the 'real' world.

Even though my courses right now don't really seem to be that appicable, they kind of are. My least applicable, Lifespan of Human Development, doesn't count because I've already learned similar but better applicable lesson in the other class I took like it. Even philosophy I can apply it to when I'm being extremely lazy and watching TV. I can find the trends we studied and the consequences they have. Yeah, one could do this without spending $400+ for a class, but would you really be able to argue it?

Where was I going?

I just like to learn things and it makes me feel like I am on the cutting edge. It makes me feel like nothing can get in my way without me knowing what it is I'm dealing with and how to deal with it. Yeah, sure, somethings don't always turn out for the best but at least I'll have known that I had the knowledge and did everything that I could have. What's wrong with that? On the news today was a story about a guy who has been going to school for 12 years for a bachelor's degree. I don't see what's wrong in going to school that long for two master's or a master's and a doctorate.

Cadence

"Man, just let me sleep"



"I can't hear you"



"May I help you?"





We put his ear in a splint in hopes that it would stand up like the other one. We took it out the next day and it eventually stood up, but then the other folded over. When he wasn't lazy or really focusing on something they would both stand up. It was so cute. Little Radar Dog.

These picks were taken when he was about 10/11 weeks old. When he was 13 weeks, he was starting to get a mohawk of dark fur down the top of his head to his back, and the other fur lightened up. On his shoulders he was also starting to show white fur in the rich black fur, it made him look like a porcupine.

The pup

In March, Nate got us a puppy from New Mexico, a beautiful German Shepherd. Even though he was a little timid from the beginning, he eventually warmed up and gained self confidence. He was a little rascal most times when we were together, always trying to bite my arm off or run laps in the house. I took him for walks and adventures to the duck pond where he involuntarily swam once, and of course to Cooper Park where he loved to play with all of the other dogs. He was so handsome. His markings were starting to show much better and his coat was sleek and ever so soft. But he died last night.

I haven't been able to stop crying since this morning when the vet called to tell me that he didn't make it through the night. 12 hours of balling. Nate joked and said that if I keep crying my eyes would swell shut. I just don't get it, yesterday morning and Saturday night he was perfectly fine. He was bouncing off the walls even though we went for three walks on Saturday, and Sunday morning was the same story. Sunday I brought him to Nate's and hung out for a while, around 3 I went home for two hours, two lousy hours, I came back and something was not right with him. He was very unresponsive and very lethargic. I checked his gums and they were paper white. We called the vet almost immediately and I brought him in. He puked and collapsed at the vet's office. The vet checked him and thought that he might have Parvo because of the lethargy and vomiting. The white gums and decreased body temp. weren't clasic signs of it, though. She checked his blood and found that it had really high levels of some thing released by the liver. The normal range was up to 200. His was 2000. A sign of some sort of toxicity.

I held his head in my arms when they drew blood and then when they were doing the testing. He was so soft still, all he wanted to do was stay in my arms.

I was so optimistic he was going to pull through. I was 99% certain it was just a weird occurence and through proper treatment at the vet's he was going to be Cadence again.

The vet said that he smelled of onions this morning and if he had eaten any rotten onions, that could have surely attributed to his death. Who knew onions were such a danger to dogs? Who knew I was such a danger to him? I should have kept him on the leash more and cleaned out the garden and have been even sterner about him not eating things he wasn't probably supposed to have. I didn't even say good bye to him because I figured I would be able to see him again. I thought at the very worst they would call me in to review further options for some sort of treatment. Not that he would die overnight.

I also feel guilty because I had thought about giving him up. Nate didn't really want him anymore since he was a little afraid of him still. And I thought that I couldn't really care for him the way he needed to be. Cadence and I had a heart to heart and I decided that it would work. If I wouldn't have made that choice in vain he could be alive. If I would have just given him up a week earlier.

I'm such an animal killer. I killed my fish when I worked at PetsMart, my hamster died after I only had her for a year and a half, and now Cadence. Everyone better watch out, it'll be a person next. I know I'm probably exaggerating, but right now, this is just how I feel.

Hm... I love Foxtrot

I thought this was fun

You Are Kermit

Hi, ho! Lovable and friendly, you get along well with everyone you know. You're a big thinker, and sometimes you over think life's problems. Don't worry - everyone know's it's not easy being green. Just remember, time's fun when you're having flies!

The Muppet Personality Test

My future and "taking different paths"

I have been researching graduate schools for nursing (even though I won't graduate for another 2 years). Most of the ones I have found require experience, but I have found one in San Diego that doesn't, and they have a Pediatric Program, but lately I've been researching Family Care instead. I'm pretty optimistic about this school. They are ranked in the top 10% of Graduate Nursing Programs. Here is the link if one would like to check it out for themselves: http://www.sandiego.edu/academics/nursing/

I've been trying to figure out why I like California, and here are the only reasons I can come up with. I want to be somewhere that is beautiful (the coast or mountains), warm, and populated. I love the fact that it will be so diverse, and there are going to be little authentic restaurants in remote areas, that I have to know Spanish (I'll have a better motivation to learn it), and I can walk to the beach from the campus! I'm not scared for my safety because if one takes the proper precautions it will be okay. But, I'm not too sure about the weather and how hot it actually gets in the summer, and it seems like an important person in my life would rather me not move there.

I'm getting frustrated with that aspect, and I know what I should do, but why can't I? do I think that maybe I'll find some renowned college in an area that I want to be? Am I just being very quick to make a decision even though it is how many years away? But right now I'm experiencing things with him that I don't ever want, and I wonder how it has come to this? Have I allowed it too much? Yes. But am I the one in the wrong? Am I just over analyzing a few minor things like name calling and ego bashing and lack of enthusiasm? Am I just in search of a person who I can dominate? NO. I already had that and obviously it didn't work. I just feel so confused some times when he is a jerk. And this isn't something new. I don't like the way he flipped out over very small things, apologized and said that he would never be like that again, but now I can see that coming through? Am I just wanting to see it? Am I anticipating it? Why dont' I want to make Easter dinner any more?

I was so excited to make turkey and maybe a ham and truly mashed potatoes and a cheesecake and deviled eggs and steamed brocoli and cauliflower with cheese sauce. ( I didn't know what else to do for a vegetable.) I was even going to try my luck with gravy. My mom used to make it a lot, and I remember how she did it, you take the drippings from whatever it is that you cooked, thin it out with a little bit of water, add flour or cornstarch and whisk like crazy until you have the consistency you want (of course thinning or thickening as needed). But, I didn't feel the desire from him. Damn it, can't I once have something that is important to me and even if you don't want it pretend like you do? Have you forgotten my birthday already? Thanks.

I think it would be the best decision to take different paths with you. I don't even know what I'm waiting for. Maybe for you to treat me better. My actions towards you are a direct reflection of how you are to me. I understand that this may be just creating a cycle, but how can I try if you dont'? Anyways, back to San Diego. I don't really know what I want to ultimately do. I do want to be able to have my own business, and I forgot to mention that you can get an MSN/MBA from this school. This school fits me so much it is almost frightening. I was thinking about going there next spring break to check it out. That way I can learn about the setting (as was the case with the university in San Jose). Well, the library is going to close in approximately 7 minutes and 24 seconds, and they'll kick me out. Hopefully the SUB is open.

A J-O-B that finally came through!

I finally got a job (well, a good paying one at least). I'll make 12/hour starting with a raise after a month. At least 40 hour work weeks with how many weeks in the summer? I figured it out earlier to about 5K for the entire summer plus p/t once school starts but I miscalculated by a lot. I will make at least $8, 000 for the whole summer after taxes! I'm pumped because then I can pay off my awesome camera, save up some money for travelling, and save for when I have to move. I am so ecstatic right now, one would might probably think that I already have the money in my pocket. The only draw back to this is that it might hurt my financial aid package. I think I'll still fall well below the line since I'm considered as an independent student. (Long story.) Nate said I should apply for a job at the local pawn shop because 'it would be easy.' And insanely boring, not to mention dangerous and I would pull my hair out trying to deal with the people that stereotypically visit them (drug addicts). I don't think I'm racist, sexist, narcist, or any of the other -ists, but I do have an extreme prejudice against druggists. Okay, I've drug you way off the beaten path... hahaha get it drug!

Oh did I mention that this job would be outside? Pulling weeds, planting flowers, trimming shrubs (it's about time I get skilled in that profession), and arranging flower pots. :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) Okay, thats enough, time to FOCUS on school and this awesome 6-8 page philosophy research paper that is due on monday.