Modified summer plans

Due to financial and time constraints, we have modified our summer road trip plans. Our initial plans were to go to Las Vegas and over to California up Hwy. 1, however, it is much more important if Nate graduates rather than make enough money for this trip. We don't have to be in Vegas until the 16, with my last final on the 9th at 10, I think we should have enough time to venture over to Colorado before play starts. I want to check out this:


Nate says he doesn't want to go on it... WHAT A CHICKEN! The stops on the map are kind of hard to distinguish. So far we plan on going to Boulder and Denver to see the cities (CO is the only state in the west I've never been to...). I want to drive to Breckenridge and then take a road south to Salida and then we might go over to Telluride where Nate is doing his thesis. Then, I found some articles about some Aztec Ruins in New Mexico near the Four Corners area. I would also like to go to Glen Powell Rec. Area, but I'm not sure if that will work. I do want to go through Flagstaff and check out some sites around there. Then, the skywalk bridge over the Grand Canyon is at Peach Springs, AZ which is conveniently on the way to Las Vegas...imagine that, it is like destiny or something. I definitely would like to get some feedback on places or things to check out that are along our route. I still plan on going to San Diego with or without Nate. He thinks he might want to practice for pool during the week that we would go. We'll see what happens. My dad also wants to see if I'm going to race with him over one of the weekends. I have no clue.... the summer is so short. I plan on flying back to Bozeman on the 30th, and then taking off for Minnesota that day, and being there by the weekend of June 1/2.

Waiting

I rescued my ipod from Nate sometime about a month ago. (It was sent to his house, and he was going to put some music on it for me.) Since then, I have been getting used to using it (sometimes I feel awkward walking with my headphones in, and I definitely don't use them when I ride my bike to school...it is dangerous enough without them). However, I have already found over 4 GB of music and podcasts to keep me occupied. I am coming to the sad realization that I'm going to have to delete some of my tunes/podcasts to make room for more, however, some, I would like to get around to listening to again. My most favorite podcast is a show called "Brain Food." The producer hasn't released any new ones since the end of January, so I've been catching up on all of the past episodes. He usually has a couple topics he describes indepth, and then he gives you some fast facts, and then gives some information regarding scientific new articles. I love these tidbits of information! There is one article that I think I'm going to write out, because it had a lot of good information about how to keep your body healthy.

Another fun one to exercise to is DJ Nando. I just found Podrunner today, and am going to test drive it tomorrow. I have also downloaded a couple spanish courses that I plan on getting around to......one of these days. I found Dwell and AIA for Nate to listen to. I titled this post "Waiting" because I'm waiting for some more podcasts to download on this slow (but free!) internet connection. Some of the other podcasts I've found include a lot of medically related ones. I've aslo found a very informational Photoshop tutorial that I can only watch on my computer becaus my ipod doesn't play videos.

One thing I keep wanting to post, but am forgetting.... who in the world decided to make the shower curtains in the gym just barely big enough to cover the door, but then they roll up on themselves, leaving you exposed anyways? Come on, if there was an extra inch on both sides, it would be enough to paste it down to the side of the shower wall.... just wondering here... I guess it is nice that the shower stalls are separated in the first place. Even though the sauna is like a communal orgy gathering place.

Finished downloading or not I have to leave.

Yeah, yeah, I know you are right...for once

I had a moment of enlightenment last week, but this week it is compounded by thoughts of disgust/contempt. If this post does anything constructive it will only be to prove my boyfriend right in an argument we had about each other's weaknesses.

Well, you were right, being overly quick to be defensive is not a trait I would like to possess. I had two instances where I found this is not who I want to be. The first was my own ruthless defensiveness that most likely upset a friend. I'm not entirely sure what brought this on, maybe contagious anxiety, but I found myself quick to snap. I felt like a major shit afterwards. Why do I do this? The other instance was with someone who for no reason, with nothing personal at stake, does this to me all the time I interact with them. It has made me dislike them in and for ways I can't completely comprehend. They don't even let me explain, and they are like **snap** on my case...EVEN WHEN I'M NOT TRYING TO ARGUE!! I guess I had no where else to go with this frustration, so it goes on here.

Nate, I hope I'm doing a better job at not being like this. To the person I was short with, I am sorry. To the person who is short with me. I might excuse you just because I know that you probably don't know you're like this...as I didn't know...er...failed to fully give in to it. It still doesn't mean that I'm going to ignore this horrible trait. (I know I made critical singular/plural grammar mistakes, but I thought it was necessary.)

Moment of enlightenment

Today I had a moment of enlightenment in every way I could ever imagine. I felt determined to be a different, better, health care provider. I don't care if what I do could ultimately be done faster (with more risk to the patient). What difference does it honestly make if I have to spend an extra two minutes to push a med that can cause irreverisible ototoxicity if given too fast? In the realm of health care, aren't I there to help others heal? I honestly care if the patient I am caring for gets better. He may have been a heavy drinker, life long smoker, bu he still is a person in need of better than 'adequate' care. He needs someone to pay attention to breaks in infection control. Yeah, it does suck if you have to spend the extra 15 seconds rewiping a clave because you accidently touched it and RT/PT is breathing down your neck to get the med in now, but that trust that pt has blindly given you means a lot. Granted they might not entirely trust you, but they must trust you enough if they aren't screaming at you to get out! I had to get this off my chest. I didn't want this feeling to go wasted and forgotten becuase of the more strenuous things I encounter.

Do you ever have this feeling?

You know when you have that one class, one person, one thing in your life that makes you upset and stupider for letting it be a stressor in your life, and you dont' really know how to cope with it? How do you deal? I think why I am letting this class get to me is because it is A. boring B. seeminly pointless and C. necessary for me to pass with a C. I have NEVER done so crappy on a test that I actually studied for, and I'm worried that our next test is going to be identical. I think the professor feels left out in the 'teaching realm' because her class is the only class that doesn't get a lab with it. (She's said that the first test is 'hard' because people don't consider it important to study for because there isn't a lab.) Okay, to me that screams resentment in which is going to be taken out on the students. I can't just let it go. I need to be proactive instead of dwelling, but I can't yoga it out of my stress out zone. Every little thing about this class gets under my skin, and I really don't want it to because I have to take classes from this lady in the future, and I just want to have as minimal stress as I can. (Living here alone, being financially strapped, and worrying about getting into graduate school are as many stressors as I can handle.)

I guess it also bothers me that I did so well on different seemingly important and difficult class exam, and I felt like there were no curve balls, therefore why should this measly class be so damn tricky? The point of testing isn't to be 'tricky' the point is to evaluate the information that was taught and learned. Two streets here... not just what was retained. Maybe I just need to look into deeper stress relieving strategies... I'm going to swim and sit in the sauna again tomorrow. That should help. Any more suggestions?

Since I took the test...

I must belong here.

You Belong in San Diego

Laid back and friendly, you were meant to live most of your life on the beach. You usually think everything is "all good"... except when the weather dips under 60F. You stay classy - especially when you're in Tijuana!

Where Does Your Inner Californian Belong?

However, I will NOT be sad when the weather dips below 60... I am when it dips below 0. I will actually be celebrating on the coldest day in San Diego because it will never be as cold as it is here or in Minnesota.

Just some randomness

I went swimming for the first time on the U of M campus today. It was very rewarding. I swam a measly 1500 yds. They also had a dry sauna that I had to test out. That is one thing I didn't think I would miss, but found that I do. I miss knowing half a dozen people who had saunas available and were more than willing to let you sweat with them. That is one more thing for the "To do" list while I'm in Minnesota.

Sitting in the sauna (cold by many Iron Rangers' standards), I reminisced about Minnesota and I got to thinking about my first "real" pull-up... it was always the only thing holding me back from getting a Presidential Physical Fitness award. I would go to the park and try to do a pull-up, but it was just so hard for me. I always thought that my arms were so scrawny and my legs pretty big.... I was like, how in the world do I ever expect these little twigs to pull up all of the weight in my lower body. I think I finally was able to do one in about 10th grade after I wasn't required to take gym class and my opportunity to get a Presidential award (and especially a T-shirt) had passed.

Why does working out feel so rewarding? My body always feels so "high" afterwards especially when I push myself to do another 5 or 10 reps or a complete set. Inevitably it always feels so sore in the days afterwards, but I don't mind.

I think there were some other things I wanted to write about, but I can't remember them right now. Maybe later I'll come back.

Follow up on X-Fest story

I was reading through my old posts and found that I never followed up on my X-Fest '02 story. So, Wes had left us early Saturday morning. There were more bands performing that day and also on Sunday if I remember right, but the bands on Sunday are never really that good. (If i correctly recall...it's been a while). We didn't even care that we had no way home. We're like, "Pfff... we'll figure something out. Let's have another drink!" We had a lot of fun on Saturday. We had managed to keep a box of CiniMini's and munched on them in someone's tiny tent. It is humorous thinking of it now, it was pretty funny at the time too because they were so good and we were just digging them out of the box. Anyways, on Sunday morning we were walking around the campground, really grungy and dirty because we had been in mosh pits and not showering. When we were wandering around at 10 a.m., people were exhausted and probably still drunk from the nights before, Emily had huge boobs and people were yelling at us "Take off your shirts!" A common chant among drunken crowds. Emily yelled some expletives at them... can't quite remember, but I think they called us bitches because we were adamantly against taking our shirts off. Anyways, we were sitting around the campsite we infiltrated, and this guy with really nice and long dread locks (not like all of the thick and nasty ones you see around Missoula) came and chatted with us. He heard our story and was surprised we weren't worried. I think it started to hit us. Make a long story shorter, my mom would pick us up at the Tanger Outlet mall in Northbranch. A far outlying suburb of the Twin Cities.

Imagine this, a nice quiet little outlet mall on the outskirts of the Twin Cities on Memorial Day weekend. Weather is semi nice.... a little overcast, not too hot, not too cold. What are people out doing? Shopping... and here we are huge duffel bags and sleeping bags in hand, grungy/dirty girls who probably reak of who know's what, Emily's hair is still up in striking blue braids, and we're sitting on a bench in front of a semipopular store. We definitely received some peculiar stares. My mom showed up after a while... quite a while, and drove us home. I miss being able to doing that kind of stuff.

As crazy as this may seem...

Did you know that some people actually go to school to get an education? They DON'T party and get drunk every night, day, hour. Absolutely amazing, I know. Well, I am one of those "people." Hard to believe, I know, but please trust me. This also means that when I have to get up at 5, I would like to go to bed around 9 or so. However, it becomes *difficult* when the person downstairs has their music cranked so loud it is making my stuff shake.

According to my landlord this guy teaches at the U of Mt. I think he even teaches one of the boring Geology classes. Anyways, I'm sure he expects his students to be a.)respectful in class, b.)get their homework done, and c.)come to class prepared especially by being AWAKE and alert. WTF? Just a short rant.

So, basically I laid the smack down at 2200 and told him that I have to be IN CLASS by 6, so turn it down.

The rest of the night was undisturbed, and I slept relatively well. This was also the second time I've had to ask him to be courteous. My neighbor next door continues to play his music loudly during the day, but I'm not here that often, and he keeps it at more respectable levels (most of the time). I just hate having to be people's mom. How dumb do you have to be to realize that your annoyingly loud music is probably being intrusive on someone else's peace, though?

Many Celebrations

The country music show I was watching determined Dolly Parton's "I will always love you" as the number one greatest country love song of all time. I couldn't believe how big her boobs were compared to her tiny frame. She looked like she was going to topple over. I passed all of my nursing classes with A's. It would have been pretty hard in some of my classes to not get A's. I checked out my Pathophysiology test to see how bad I really did on it, and I didn't do bad at all. Amazing, absolutely amazing. I felt like I totally bombed that test and then I find I only got 8 questions wrong. Still, I know 8 wrong is a lot, but I was perfectly happy with that outcome than an alternative one. This semester I'm going to try to not stress myself out as much. I just have to keep remembering, B's get into grad school. And it seems that this year they don't only grade with whole step grades. I can get half steps. (A-, B+....) No A+, though.... what the heck, eh? That is one (maybe two) celebration(s).

Another celebration: my blog turned one!!! I've even kept at it...maybe not as diligently as I'd like, but I write when I can. I guess I can update my blog, but I don't have a google account, and I'm not sure if I'll lose stuff I've already posted. I might look into it.

Nate and I are planning on taking a huge road trip this summer. First to Vegas for a while for pool tournaments, tacos, and custard. Then on to San Diego for a little tour of the city and Univiersity of San Diego. Then, continuing up Highway 1, the most beautiful highway in the country (if I do say so myself), all the way up to Portland, while making appropriate stops along the way. And then back to Bozeman. (My stuff will mostly be in storage in Missoula.) Then I'll be off to Minnesota for a while to spend some time with my family mostly, and of course I'll squeeze in my friends. However, everyone will have to compete with Kashmira for my attention. I don't think I've ever posted a picture of her on here. (Because I don't have any on my computer.)

I am very excited to say that I have almost finished reading Smart Women Finish Rich, and I'm ready to open my very own retirement account. Woohoo!! I'll be up to at least two million by the time I retire. (That is, if Congress continues to allow $4000/ year contributions plus yearly $500 increases to Roth IRA's.)

I'm also getting to appreciate Missoula more in the short time that I've been here. I'm going to take a sushi 'cooking' class next week. (Another stress reliever.) I'm going to be able to swim more because the Griz pool is way more accessible than the one in Bozeman (especiallly with all of the construction). Half of the pool tables here got refelted, some with maroon felt. (Hopefully they don't ruin the look too bad by allowing off colored chalk). Their natural food store is way cheaper than the snooty Co-op in Bozeman. It is also the place that is have the sushi class! : ) Oh, and, they have a place that has $2 margaritas! Life is getting better.

My monthly contribution is well overdue

Ah, here I am in the midst of finals week. I am strange...I studied for my first final that was today, Tuesday, and I feel like I totally bombed it. However, I needed to get 20 points out of 60 wrong to drop my grade to a B. Since each question was one point, that is 20 questions wrong. I don't think I did that bad, but it is possible. I also felt like I was exteremly irritable during the entire ordeal. I was very easily flustered by people (coming in late, phones vibrating, retard tapping his fingers loudly, and just rustling). This normally doesn't happen, but it might be the result of being in a different, smaller, classroom. Oh well. I'll find out within the next couple days to see if I got an A for the class.

I have another tomorrow, and I have to get 15 questions or more wrong to drop my grade. I feel like I know the information, but that is what I thought going into my first one. This class seems more straight forward, though...I have to define normal limits... has anyone ever tried this? Try it, you'll have fun and pull a couple hairs out in the process. On a side note, I'm watching CMT's 100 Greastest Love Songs before I go to bed. I am a sucker. In case you would like to know Garth Brooks's Unanswered Prayers is number 6, and Lonestar's Amazed was number 7. Wow... Garth Brooks is getting old (maybe it wasn't him performing) ....numba 5... Conway Twitty's Hello Darlin'. Well, for my last final on Thursday, I can get 20 questions, 40 points wrong and still get an A. I am writing this in hopes that I can convince myself that I will be fine, but I'm still stressing out about them. Why? I have no clue. I do realize this, though, I can't wait to relax. I'm going to drink, play pool, and be merry on Saturday, maybe go to the Hot Springs one of the nights this weekend, and breathe. 4~ Randy Travis~ Forever and Ever Amen. Where the heck is Josh Turner? He has a very sexy voice, he can whisper sweet nothings in my ear whenever he wants. I am having a hard time seeing all of the country stars that I grew up with (my mom always listened to these guys) get old. I remember their youthful faces on the covers of their CD's. Randy Travis in his sepia/antique photo was one among many of my first crushes.

I know I'm all over here, but, this is more for me than for you. And, I'm not sorry. I have been employed by LC Staffing for the past month and have been working at First Interstate Bank as a filer/paper filler outer extraordinaire. I like it, it requires absolutely no brain power at all! They invited me to their Christmas party at the Rib and Chop House in Livingston. The Rib and Chop House is a very, very nice (and expensive) steak house in Montana. I had wanted to eat there many times, but it has always just been too expensive. I had the most succulent sponge of Ribeye I have ever tasted. OH MY GOD this steak was absolutely fantastic and perfect! I ordered it medium, and it was thick, and it was just as pink as Nate's medium-rare, and just as perfect. I'm drooling over here just thinking about it, if this post stops midstream, it is because my keys are flooded. 3~Patsy Cline's Sweet Dreams... however, the original seems better, only because it is more familiar. Anyways, if anyone ever wants to find the most perfect steak, go to the Rib-n-Chop House and get the Ribeye....aaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! If I wasn't trying to save money for a road trip, I would say I'm returning soon, but that expense is not necessary. I could try to cook one like that... it might happen.

Oh yeah, my job... I work with the Financial Services Dept. so I am learning a lot about IRAs, CDs, 401K mumbo-jumbos. My boss gave me, Smart Women Finish Rich, and I've gotten past the introduction. Hopefully I can finish it during the break. I want to and I want to open a Roth IRA, but I might need my extra money when I move. That's why I'm going to create a better budget and stick to it. 2~Willie Nelson's Always on My Mind.

It is almost 11 p.m., and I have a final at 12 tomorrow afternoon. I'm sticking around for number one, though. But... I'm going to post this and you'll have to wait until I post again (who knows when that will be).

Midterms WERE when?!

I guess this milestone has already passed. I can't really believe it, but I am very excited at the same time. There are a lot of pool tournaments coming up for November that I'm going to play in. One is Nov 3,4,5 it is the MT Billiards Congress of America (BCA) State Tournament. Last year at this tourney, there was a lot of drama. This year is going to be a lot better. And, I'm going to play a lot better. Last year I went 1-2. I keep having these illusions of grandeur and I think I will finally step it up, but I must be putting too much pressure on myself because I never follow through.

The other one I'm going to play in is a Women's doubles tourney on Nov 11. I'm pretty ble to do this class, anexcited about this one, too. The girl I'm playing with is a lot of fun, and she is a great shot.

Finally, the last one is going to be a huge tourney the weekend after Thanksgiving. People will come from all over (Canada, Salt Lake, Washington) to play in it. My only goal for this tourney is to practice, practice, and practice some more for it. Which could prove to be a little difficult considering I have a test or major paper due every week from here on out.

I should be doing a little bit better with school, though, because I dropped my sign language class. (It isn't completely official, yet, I still need my instructor's signature.) I feel like a big piece; I've never dropped a class before. It is lame. I should be ad I could if I dropped everything else in my life. But is that life? Aren't I supposed to want to enjoy the moment with some but not too many other obligations? I think I was stressing about it because I want to get good grades for graduate school, and now I can feel less guilty about spending the time that I need to on those classes and neglecting that one. Well, speaking of that I should get back to studying.

"I go a walkin' after midnight..."

Whoa, no posts for August, I am a slacker. Here is a run down of my final days of freedom (from school). I worked until the 11th of August. After that, I began walking more dogs at the shelter, which was very enjoyable. It is amazing to see the amount of joy I can bring to a pup just by taking it for a walk. It, like most owned dogs, will probably only get out once a week, but that one time means everything to it. It doesn't care about its shitty life inside of a sweltering outdoor pen as long as it can get out, if even just once a week. Ah! There's so many smells, so many sights, so many places to pee, and so little time to do everything before the walker has to bring the dog back. I walked this super sweet golden retriever, Annie. She was my favorite. She just wanted to be pet and loved on, and that was it. She would sit in her cage, leaning against the door, waiting for anyone to come by and give her a couple loving scratches. Her previous owners gave her up because she was timid (probably from mistreatment), and went through a plate glass door during a thunderstorm. Once she was out of the kennel, though, she was courageous, full of life, and very well mannered. After several months at the shelter she was finally adopted, she's not back yet, so that's a good sign. Another favorite is Bart, a 2 yr old black Lab. He is nuts when you first get him going! He just wants to go go go go go go. Therefore, we go for really long walks, to settle all of his crazy energy. Since school started, I haven't been able to go that often because it is really demanding this year.

I'll get more on that later, because I'm going to bed for the night.

Snow in summer

I have been waiting to post these pictures... for what, I have no clue, spare time maybe? The first is a cacti pot that I potted for my dad for his birthday. The next are pictures of a major pollen storm. The night we got back from Las Vegas this stuff was all over the yard and I couldn't tell if it was snow because it was so white and thick. I was wearing sandals and was nervous to step on it. I found this in the morning. Pretty interesting.










This last picture is one of my sister and niece, Shiori. I can't believe the luck of this picture. I had been taking a lot, and this is by far the best one.

First day of summer!

... but where did June go? I have taken a couple 'quizzes' online for fun this one says what 'cliquue' i belonged to in high school. About the omputer nerd thing, journalism work was mostly done on computers, either fixing pictures, doing layouts, writing text, finding (more like being shown) all kinds of different dorky things on the internet (strong man and 'big boys' {they both sound like corny porns to me}). The punk thing I didn't really understand, I would have said stoner or rocker instead of a punker. I guess having moshed and liking mohawks gives you a certain image that isn't what I had in mind. (Actually I don't really like mohawks, but the choice was either you hate em, you love 'em or are in the middle some where. I personally think they are an attention seeking device but this is a girl who died her hair hot pink for a concert once. That was fun...)

Speaking of concerts (being as it is the season!), I'm going to tell a story. Emily, Wes, and I were going to go to X-Fest 2002 in Somerset. Emily wanted me to do her hair up in yarn braids (the very first and last time I ever did it), so we started around........... midnight... maybe it was the middle of the day, I can't really remember, anyways, we started them on Thursday partied throughout the night at Wes's parents house, (continuing to braid) and all throughout the day on Friday. Emily was getting so upset because it was taking so long, and it probably hurt really bad, and she wouldn't let me stop. But she wanted them to look good, and they were kind of long. So, I had been braiding for at least 12 hours; we got to Somerset in the late afternoon and we were still going at it, Wes snapped a picture of us after we snuck into the campgrounds and settled in with some Keystones. (Don't ask me how two girls one with bright blue yarn hair can sneek into the 'campground' at Floatrite...) But this picture so accurately described the mood... I was sitting on the top of the picnic table Emily right below me, she has the sourest look on her face, more like a pout, beer in hand, and I was gleaming right above her. I can't believe I was able to keep my cool with her for so long, it was probably because we had drank so much and that we were finally there, going to listen to some fucking awesome bands. Once we finally finished her hair, on the way over to the amphitheater, we ran into Lagon from Sevendust and got our picture taken with him and he commented on Emily's hair. It was pretty sweet.

After the show, Emily and I were partying with the other guys at the campsite and whoever wandered through. Wes was pissed off about this because we rode down with him and he wanted us to go to be, but we didn't want to, we came there to party and have fun. So, we said fuck it and let him be pissed off, and he was threatening to leave in the morning, and we kind of thought that he was joking, but no, he was telling the truth. So, Saturday morning rolled around Wes took off, left us there with a bunch of guys we had just really met, but that option was definitely more appealling than wasting a 60 dollar ticket and going home.

more to come later.

You scored as Geek/Nerd. Haha! ok. go computer geeks!

Punk		60%
Geek/Nerd		60%
Loner		53%
Emo Kid		33%
Hot		33%
Jock		27%
Prep		27%
Stoner		27%
Goth		20%
"Ghetto"		7%

What Highschool Clique Do You Belong To?
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